We were ready to give Chilam Balam’s Chuy Valencia the Permanent Douchebag award when this Top Chef casting video crossed our desk the other day. It opens with him moronically talking about his “haters,” rambles into him claiming Chilam Balam “mindfucks” people, and ends with him comparing himself to Justin Bieber (who he claims is “so fucking talented”). But then we read this interview in Timeout, where he claims he forgot about the casting video and was drunk when he did it.
Okay. Dude seems genuinely remorseful. And he probably doesn’t go around talking about fucking plants and pregnancy scares everyday. But we’ve been pretty deep into our cups before and never come close to this level of idiocy. If one of us acted like Casting Vid Chuy, we’d buy NicaraguaGluttons.com and get the fuck out. You don’t show your face after pulling that silly bullshit.
But…because we love Mexican food, we’re willing to keep the hounds at bay. You get a pass this time, Valencia. But one more Bieber comparison–one more smug, jerk-off comment–and we’re busting out every midget joke we know.
2 Comments
In terms of this kat being one of the 5 repping Chicago on the show, watching Chuy reminds me of when my Moms would warn me in advance not to embarrass her.
If you make us look bad Chuy, its an instant neckpunch.
lmfao…. i went to high school with chuy, he was a good of friend of mine. i havent seen him for a long time, nor did i know that he was all famous & shit now… but you can probably imagine how short he was back then.. i dont see any reason to hold back the jokes. if it helps any, his real name is jesus thats what he went by when i knew him. he’s a funny little mofo thats fo sho.